


Presmodai

by GoshdarnRabbit



Category: Future Card Buddyfight
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, I can't rap so you're spared from me attempting to do so, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-05 01:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17315330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoshdarnRabbit/pseuds/GoshdarnRabbit
Summary: When Tetsuya and his buddy visit America during the events of DDD an idle question about Asmodai's past leads to the Demon Lord's strangest publicity stunt yet.A series of vignettes about the race for the US presidency in the world of Buddyfight.





	Presmodai

"Yo, A-dog! Have you ever been here in America before?" asked Tetsuya.  
  
"I was stuck on Earth for a few thousand years, so I traveled all over the world." said Asmodai. "I stayed in this town called Salem for a while a couple of centuries back, but the locals weren't fans."  
  
Tetsuya's eyes widened at that. "You were at the Salem Witch Trials, A-dog?"  
  
"Nah, didn't stick around for that. No actual witches, so it'd be awkward." explained the Demon Lord. "I stuck around for a few decades, but that vibe got weird real quick."  
  
"It's cool, yo! So you're not just from Magic World, you're an American?"  
  
"I was hanging around here before they even wrote the constitution." said Asmodai. "What's the big deal, didn't think there was anything that'd surprise you about your buddy?"  
  
"You were living here before this country was founded, so you're a citizen." explained Rucifiel. "You didn't need to go through all that at the airport."  
  
"Hey, yo! You lived here so long you could even run for president, A-dog!" added Tetsuya.  
  
"Say, that's not a bad idea, Tets." said Asmodai, scratching his chin.  


* * *

  
  
"Mister Asmodai, you're standing for the presidency as a Democrat?" asked a reporter.  
  
"Democrat?" Asmodai covered his microphone with a hand. "Hey, Tetsuya, I thought you said Dem was short for Demon."  


* * *

  
The changing room door opened. Asmodai was stood wearing a suit, sure, but he was also wearing a large top hat and fake beard. He grinned at Rucifiel and Tetsuya, and spread his arms wide.  
  
" _No._ " said Rucifiel before Asmodai could speak a single word.  


* * *

  
  
"Mister Asmodai, what are your policies on the separation of church and state?"  
  
"If I walk into a church I'll burst into a ball of flames." he said, leaning in to the microphone. "So I'm for it."  


* * *

  
  
"Yo, who's the dude with that wicked eyepatch?" asked Tetsuya  
  
Rucifiel put down a paper. The headline read 'Democrats Run Actual Literal Devil Against Republican War Hero'.  
  
"Yeah Rucy, who's this other guy anyway?" said Asmodai.  
  
"Alcohol Tobacco Firearms." said Rucifiel. "He's a special forces veteran. How are you running for president without even knowing about him? He's also known as a top-ranked Hero World fighter, and his buddy is the Metal Dragoner, Gear Drake."  
  
"I bet he's got some sick moves, yo!" said Tetsuya.  
  
"Well we just have to debate him. It's not like we have to buddyfight him, hey Tets?" said Asmodai, nudging his buddy with an elbow.  
  
Rucy sighed. "Your debate with him _is_ a buddyfight."  


* * *

  
  
"Metal Dragoner Gear Drake, attack the fighter with the same ferocity with which I propose we attack overcrowding in public schools!"  
  
"And now my Fire Armored Mech Dynamizer will attack twice, cutting your lifepoints by more than half!" shouted Al Firearms as he struck a dramatic pose atop said Brave Machine. "Just as I intend to _cut the national deficit_ by more than half with my bold new policies that will stimulate the economy!"  
  
"Yo, A-dog!" said Tetsuya, getting up after the attack. "We're going to have to bust out some sick moves here! Draw! Charge and draw, yo! I buddy call Presidential Candidate Asmodai!"  


* * *

  
  
"Great work out there, Tets!" said Asmodai, lounging across the entire back seat of the campaign bus in his suit (very formal, aside from the open shirt under it). "My First Buddy's not a bad buddyfighter, yo!"  
  
"Your impromptu rap and breakdance mid-fight is getting a lot of airtime - it's number one in the charts right now." said Rucy. "Your poll numbers are up thanks to that fight - you've just taken the lead."  
  
"What'd I tell you, Tets?" said Asmodai, patting his buddy on the head. "Running for president was a great idea!"  
  
"Yo A-dog, it's been fun and all, but... What if you win?" said Tetsuya, looking a little sad.  
  
"What's got my little buddy down?" asked Asmodai, sitting up straight (and now only taking up two seats instead of five).  
  
"A-dog, if you're the president, that's pretty important, yo?" said Tetsuya. "Can we even hang when you're being all presidential?"  
  
"Of course we can hang, Tets!" said Asmodai.  
  
"But, like, A-dog? You're going to be in the Whitehouse, yo." said Tetsuya. "And my friends are all going to be at Aibo Academy, y'know what I'm sayin'?"  
  
"I see! My buddy's worried I can't hang out in Japan when I'm rapping about civil rights in the Oval Office. " said Asmodai. "You're a good kid, Tets. But don't worry, I can still hang with you and your friends."  
  
There was a puff of smoke, and now two Asmodais were sitting side-by-side - one wearing his presidential debate suit, the other in his signature yellow hoodie with horns.  
  
"That's not gonna be a problem, Tets!" said Asmodai.  
  
"Yo! That's wicked cool!" said Tetsuya, bursting into a grin. "So you'll be the president and your copy can hang out with me!"  
  
"Actually, I'd say I'm more of the copy." said the suited Asmodai.  
  
"We could call you US-modai! Or Presmodai!" said the banana-haired boy.  
  
"We're both the same demon, more or less." said Asmodai. "We'll just stay split up until the term limit's over. Four or eight years is nothing to a Demon Lord."  
  
"Are you sure that's legal?" asked Rucy. "Having more than one copy of the president?"  
  
"There was more than one Lincoln, yo!" supplied Tetsuya.  
  
Rucifiel seemed baffled. "That sounds wrong, but I don't know enough about Earth history to dispute it."  
  
"It's his cool hit rap the Gettysburg Address, yo!" said Tetsuya. "He busts out that line 'four-score and seven years ago, our fathers', and he's talking about his dads, yo?"  
  
"That's definitely not right." sighed an exasperated Rucy.  
  
"No, I think our boy Tets is onto something." said Presmodai, nodding his head.  
  
"He's got forefathers and it's kind of like I've got three fathers, yo?" said Tetsuya.  
  
"You've got three dads?" asked Asmodai. "When'd that happen?"  
  
"It's you and Rucy, yo! And Presmodai's you too, so you're all my dads!"  
  
"I'm more of a cool big bro." said Asmodai.  


* * *

  
  
"Presmodai got sworn in on a vinyl of Wu-Tang Forever." Asmodai said, wiping a fake tear from his eyes with one hand. "A demon after my own heart."  
  
"Yo, we should tell all our friends!" said Tetsuya.  
  
"Nah, they'll figure it out eventually." said Asmodai. "Gao's got enough on his plate with the World Buddy Cup."  
  
"How long do you think it'll take for Gao to notice his friend's buddy is the US president?" asked Rucy.  
  
“I’d give it a year or two.” said Asmodai.


End file.
